tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3611417720588706842.comments2017-04-12T11:04:56.769-07:00Surviving WidowhoodRachelRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08687892249904526575noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3611417720588706842.post-56843355252820779962017-04-12T11:04:56.769-07:002017-04-12T11:04:56.769-07:00This is absolutely beautiful!
This is absolutely beautiful!<br />HabiInTDothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11831590097847964164noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3611417720588706842.post-19045586269003924802017-04-11T19:47:40.374-07:002017-04-11T19:47:40.374-07:00Very powerful, very real. Writing helps me too. ...Very powerful, very real. Writing helps me too. Today marked the end of year two and the beginning of year three, tomorrow comes. <br />take carehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00506654793916652854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3611417720588706842.post-37629175300855149602017-04-11T15:10:11.823-07:002017-04-11T15:10:11.823-07:00Beautiful poem...
Look forward to hearing more abo...Beautiful poem...<br />Look forward to hearing more about your bookMaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08987527540895782339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3611417720588706842.post-62008618903925233232016-06-27T21:08:42.854-07:002016-06-27T21:08:42.854-07:00I struggle with moving forward and being excited a...I struggle with moving forward and being excited about living and not just existing, then the next minute I feel guilty about being happy. I have to admit the time feeling guilty is getting shorter and shorter. Thank you for sharing, I understand what you are saying. take carehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00506654793916652854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3611417720588706842.post-22348296248082391352016-05-26T04:03:53.714-07:002016-05-26T04:03:53.714-07:00Grief does come in waves and often when you least ...Grief does come in waves and often when you least expect it. The good news is that as time passes the waves and ebbs get farther and farther apart. Just know that this is "normal" especially in the first year or two when there are so many "firsts" that you have to experience alone. You are doing as well as anyone can expect at this stage.Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3611417720588706842.post-9545274675941522242016-05-09T21:09:49.257-07:002016-05-09T21:09:49.257-07:00Look up Christina Rasmussen. She has a great book...Look up Christina Rasmussen. She has a great book on this topic called Second Firsts. I found it very helpful when I decided I wanted to move towards a healthier way to process my pain.Carolyn https://www.blogger.com/profile/00846481499430811793noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3611417720588706842.post-24980089527650184482016-05-07T22:21:00.223-07:002016-05-07T22:21:00.223-07:00The H word. I still hate it. So many people thin...The H word. I still hate it. So many people think we should be "over it" after this amount of time. Whatever they think that amount is. It's never over. We will have our loving memories forever ... and a bit of the pain as well. I often cry ... when I hear a song, or remember a Ralph-ism, or when I see a butterfly. And I probably always will. Just embrace it. Add a dash of humor. One day at a time.The Awkward Widowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03729456066739275695noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3611417720588706842.post-77191701770011330432016-05-07T22:07:21.964-07:002016-05-07T22:07:21.964-07:00We surely are an odd group of people brought toget...We surely are an odd group of people brought together by tragedy. And thank goodness we have met! It's an interesting journey and I know I learn a little something with each word I read. It does help to have this camaraderie ....The Awkward Widowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03729456066739275695noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3611417720588706842.post-76206678355860452692016-05-07T22:00:20.632-07:002016-05-07T22:00:20.632-07:00My husband of 29 years died May 2, 2013. It doesn...My husband of 29 years died May 2, 2013. It doesn't get "better" it just goes a little bit to the background of life. I'm glad Misadventures of Widowhood shared your blog. Thanks for writing!The Awkward Widowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03729456066739275695noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3611417720588706842.post-42371142010338102632016-05-07T09:31:32.483-07:002016-05-07T09:31:32.483-07:00Thank you for your comment. <3 I think that the...Thank you for your comment. <3 I think that the support that pours out of the widow community when they see a new widow or a widow reaching out for the first time is a testament to what we go through. Only people who have been through hell develop an instant compassion like that. RachelRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08687892249904526575noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3611417720588706842.post-56170181697925696652016-05-05T13:28:34.574-07:002016-05-05T13:28:34.574-07:00First time stopping by, too. So very sorry for yo...First time stopping by, too. So very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine a tougher transition, and my heart goes out to you. You describe 'it' so well. All we do, to hear you and each other describe it (forget about 'well' - It isn't 'well' at the moment, it can't be.) <br /><br />My blog's at www.postwidowhood.blogspot.com I'm a looong way out the day I lost him. You're welcome to visit.GowitheFlohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01842273685414939160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3611417720588706842.post-48940745122805048262016-05-05T12:13:59.127-07:002016-05-05T12:13:59.127-07:00Thank you! I remember reading that post, it was a ...Thank you! I remember reading that post, it was a beautiful post by you as so many are. I haven't watched the video yet. I did try to start it but I think you're right, I wasn't ready. I will bookmark it and revisit it from time to time. Thanks again for all you do!RachelRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08687892249904526575noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3611417720588706842.post-69849933141198096732016-05-05T12:12:01.416-07:002016-05-05T12:12:01.416-07:00Thank you for your comment and the link to your bl...Thank you for your comment and the link to your blog, Judy! Yes, that closure word. My husband lost his oldest daughter about a year before we met to a car accident, so he was grieving her the whole time I knew him. I learned a lot from him actually, more than I realized as I trudge through my grief. I remember him railing against the word closure. He said there should never be closure on a child. I never had kids, so I can't even imagine the bond, let alone having that bond broken so terribly but I also feel like there should never be closure on a spouse, it is too intimate a relationship to ever feel like it needs to be closed. RachelRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08687892249904526575noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3611417720588706842.post-70745116482836906842016-05-05T08:11:22.912-07:002016-05-05T08:11:22.912-07:00The unexpected death, it hits us so hard because i...The unexpected death, it hits us so hard because it really wasn't supposed to happen. We didn't have a chance to prepare ourselves did we?Judyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03399435237919718544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3611417720588706842.post-70915029931187291872016-05-05T08:07:47.691-07:002016-05-05T08:07:47.691-07:00You have expressed so well exactly how I felt. It...You have expressed so well exactly how I felt. It will get better, but at this stage of time, it is so raw and hurts so much.Judyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03399435237919718544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3611417720588706842.post-970489985063604502016-05-05T08:04:35.172-07:002016-05-05T08:04:35.172-07:00If you want to stop by:
http://judeself.blogspot.c...If you want to stop by:<br />http://judeself.blogspot.com/Judyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03399435237919718544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3611417720588706842.post-27893712416966162742016-05-05T08:04:30.917-07:002016-05-05T08:04:30.917-07:00If you want to stop by:
http://judeself.blogspot.c...If you want to stop by:<br />http://judeself.blogspot.com/Judyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03399435237919718544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3611417720588706842.post-34177358272189104852016-05-05T08:00:58.232-07:002016-05-05T08:00:58.232-07:00First time reading your blog. I hate the popular ...First time reading your blog. I hate the popular word "closure". How can we ever get closure on a wound that is buried deep in our heart/brain/soul? With me, the Widow Fog didn't even start to lift until around 9 months. Then before I knew it, the 1st Sadiversary happened. Then true reality started to set in. After only 7 years together, My Fred died on New Year's Day, 2012. I am further out than you are and days and even sometimes, a week will go by and I don't even think about him. Time does take away the intense pain of grief, but closure? I don't think that ever happens for us....and maybe it's not supposed to.Judyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03399435237919718544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3611417720588706842.post-37755787752122729802016-05-05T06:39:49.633-07:002016-05-05T06:39:49.633-07:00"Healing" and "closure" are tw..."Healing" and "closure" are two words you often hear around in widowhood circles. And I have come to understand 'healing' as the raw pain of grief gradually lifting so you can function. It doesn't mean the grief is gone, it just doesn't ambush you anymore at unexpected times. And 'closure' I've come to understand is something unrealistic to expect of ourselves. A sociologist, Nancy Berns, says that we need to learn to carry our grief side-by-side with our joy so we can bring forth our good memories without guilt or them triggering pain. Someday when you're ready to visit this topic, at the top of my blog is a tab labeled "Looking for Closure." In that blog is a link to a lecture Nancy gave about closure. It's worth the 17 minutes it takes to watch.Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3611417720588706842.post-6003393478470084682016-05-05T06:04:04.526-07:002016-05-05T06:04:04.526-07:00What a lovely memory to share. Guys who aren't...What a lovely memory to share. Guys who aren't afraid to show love to their pets are such treasures. I'll bet yours are grieving right along with you.Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3611417720588706842.post-16062125836142631572016-05-04T20:55:43.427-07:002016-05-04T20:55:43.427-07:00Thank you, TC. I am so sorry. I am sending you as ...Thank you, TC. I am so sorry. I am sending you as many hugs as you can take right now. Thank you for sharing, too. <3RachelRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08687892249904526575noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3611417720588706842.post-86513558912849366712016-05-04T20:54:44.230-07:002016-05-04T20:54:44.230-07:00Oh Jean, it was marvelous. I wish I could put into...Oh Jean, it was marvelous. I wish I could put into words just how hilarious his little voices were and just how perfectly the expressions on their faces went with everything he said. Even their movements and body language went along. He had impeccable improv skills and used them every day, all the time with our animals. It was just one of millions of things he did that gave life so much color and vibrancy.<br /><br />Thank you for your comment. You are so supportive, I am incredibly grateful you're out there for many of us. A true inspiration on this horrible journey. <3RachelRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08687892249904526575noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3611417720588706842.post-5509779696924337792016-05-01T11:50:43.804-07:002016-05-01T11:50:43.804-07:00He sounds like he was a great guy, a keeper for su...He sounds like he was a great guy, a keeper for sure. I sense a story in just about every line of your poem. I'd love to hear more someday, for example, on how he made characters for your dogs and cats. Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3611417720588706842.post-77407605899843142192016-04-25T21:54:39.368-07:002016-04-25T21:54:39.368-07:00I remember the day after my handsome man's ser...I remember the day after my handsome man's services my house was full of family and friends, eating, sharing stories, laughing. A house full of people and I felt so alone. Thank you for sharing. take carehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00506654793916652854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3611417720588706842.post-78789750695521188952016-04-25T21:19:22.324-07:002016-04-25T21:19:22.324-07:00The imagery and story are just beautiful. I too a...The imagery and story are just beautiful. I too am struggling, my title of widow just marked it's first anniversary. I offer no advice, I have not wisdom to share. I find comfort in knowing I'm not the only one with such stories and thoughts, thank you for sharing. take carehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00506654793916652854noreply@blogger.com